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Checking out this year’s Toronto Sketch Comedy Festival? Don’t miss these five troupes

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The seventh annual Toronto Sketch Comedy Festival kicked off last night. With over 40 troupes from across the country, there’s a whole lot of funny to be had in not a whole lot of time (six nights, to be exact). We asked performer, writer and Sketch Fest regular Norm Sousa for his top five troupes that are worth checking out.

The Williamson Playboys

Why you should check them out: “They’re recently back from the U.S., so they haven’t done [Sketch Fest] in a long time. They call themselves the ‘oldest living father-son Cajun music duo,’ which is cool, and they’re billed with Falcon Powder, which is my honourable mention.”

When and where: Friday November 11 @ 8pm, Lower Ossington Theatre, 100 Ossington Avenue.


Vest of Friends

Why you should check them out: “They’re all really young and all really good. They’re smart and have well-constructed sketches for people so young. They’re the next big sketch troupe.”

When and where: Thursday November 10 @ 10pm, Lower Ossington Theatre, 100 Ossington Avenue.


PunchDRYSDALE

Why you should check them out: “A selfless plug. Cole [Osborne] and I haven’t performed since last year’s fest and this could be our last show ever. But then, we’re always on the verge of self-destruction.”

When and where: Saturday November 12 @ 7pm, Comedy Bar, 945 Bloor Street West.


This is That

Why you should check them out: “This is the sketch live version of their podcast, which is one of the top podcasts on iTunes. If you haven’t checked out their podcast, you really, really should.”

When and where: Saturday November 12 @3pm and 8pm, Lower Ossington Theatre, 100 Ossington Avenue.


Picnicface

Why you should check them out: “This year, they’ve just crushed it. They had a movie, Roller Town, they have the series on The Comedy Network, they also have a book. This is just another notch on their belt for them.”

When and where: Friday November 11 @ 11pm, Second City, 51 Mercer Street.

Five reasons why fast food specialty coffee is not the worst thing to happen to the world since, well, fast food

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The espresso market has traditionally been cornered by Starbucks and specialty shops, but coffee connoisseurs are now being courted by some unlikely competitors: McDonalds and Tim Hortons. Is this venture into espresso-based coffee a sacrilege? Probably, but things could be worse. Here are five reasons why it’s not such a bad thing.

 

 

  1. You can now be an elitist any time, anywhere. Everyone knows that forgoing drip coffee for something espresso-based is one of the most pretentious things you can do. Maybe even pretentious enough to make up for the fact that you’re hanging out at Timmies.
  2. The coffee isn’t all that terrible, apparently. According to a taste test by the Globe and Mail, fast food coffee isn’t completely unbearable. Starbucks’ coffee is a different story, though.
  3. You never wanted to say the word “venti” anyway. Just order your drink the way sane people do it: using actual words like “small,” “medium” or “large.”
  4. Save some money for once. A 10-ounce espresso-based drink will cost $2 at Timmies and $2.29 at McDonald’s. At Starbucks, that size costs $3.52.
  5. All the cool kids are getting into espresso. According to The Star, espresso is the only coffee category that’s growing. Since last year, espresso is up two per cent compared to flat sales of brewed coffee. 

In defense of vodka

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A funny thing happened to me this weekend: I was ridiculed for ordering vodka.

My usually passive strains of Polish blood erupted in indignation. 

“What fresh, elitist hell has this city become?” they screamed.

Yes, there are solid arguments from craft bartenders and mixologists in Toronto, and beyond, that vodka is boring, stupid and bland. For some, it seems, vodka is a sorry excuse for a spirit; it’s the penultimate offence to booze-craft. 

It’s true that vodka is mild — arguably flavourless — by nature. Its name stems from the Slavic word “voda,” interpreted as “little water.” It’s also true that certain brands of vodka have experienced inflated levels of success in the West, thanks to stellar marketing techniques that have hoisted otherwise mediocre products to “premium” status.

But this clear quaff has held a vital cultural importance for centuries (watch VBS.TV’s Wodka Wars  if you need proof). Vodka is more than gin’s bland and unloveable stepsister, and it shouldn’t be banished to the corner of irrelevancy by the cult of flavour.

Vodka is approachable, with low caloric content. The rigorous filtration it undergoes makes for less devastating morning-after repercussions should you happen to go overboard the night before.

Its utterly unimposing taste makes it easy to mix with and easy to drink. It’s a blank canvas for liquid creation. Mixing with vodka may be less of a challenge than working with bold sophisticates like whiskey or gin, but its unobtrusiveness makes it a creative chameleon. It infuses like a dream and blends seamlessly with a scope of ingredients — fresh fruits, spices, herbs, liqueurs and other liquors — leaving plenty of room for experimentation and flavour layering.

Vodka’s crisp neutrality is even better enjoyed in its original context: traditionally, vodka was consumed with such distinctly-flavoured accompaniments as caviar, oysters, briny pickles, oily herring and salty cured meats.

And let’s not overlook the viscosity factor. The flavour nuances between vodkas may be slight, but there are very discernible differences in mouth feel. Sweet-edged Polish potato vodkas like Luksusowa drink with an undeniably buttery texture, while the dry and zesty rye-based Wyborowa is oily and smooth. 

Despite the age-old polarization of gin and vodka, there’s really no reason why the two can’t get along. The Vesper, a classic immortalized by James Bond, is a blend of gin, vodka and Lillet with a twist of lemon (hit up the Harbord Room for an expertly mixed Vesper, $15). There’s even a jointly devoted Gin and Vodka Association. How’s that for solidarity?

As a bartender who takes an interest in blending booze in the hopes of making it extra delicious, I’m open to playing with and imbibing pretty much anything. Usually it’s bourbon, but I’m no stranger to beer, gin, scotch, tequila, wine, cognac and whatever else piques my interest at the time. And yes, sometimes, reverently lifted from its icy nest called the freezer, I also drink vodka.

My Polish progenitors wouldn’t rest easy if I didn’t.

Interested in vodka-grazing around town? Make a stop at Rasputin Vodka Bar or Pravda Vodka Bar to sample vodkas from Russia, Poland, Sweden, Ukraine, Finland, Iceland and North America.

Sample some autumnal vodka cocktails like Barchef’s They Know ($13), a blend of cacao-infused vodka, gin, sweet vermouth, egg white, fennel and caraway syrup, or Czehoski’s Hot Dickens Cider ($12), a steamed blend of żubrówka (Polish bison grass vodka distilled since the sixteenth century), honey and fresh-pressed apple juice.

The Breakfast Hub: Toronto is Canada’s least liked city, Edgewalk earns a world record, youth shelter may be forced to relocate

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According to a recent study, Toronto is Canada’s least liked city. “It’s not necessarily that people like their city more than Toronto,” Jim Milway, executive director of the Martin Prosperity Institute at the Rotman School of Management told the National Post. “It’s that people just don’t like Toronto, period.
[National Post]

The CN Tower’s Edgewalk has been the talk of the town this year, and Guinness has noticed. Edgewalk has received official recognition for being the highest external walk on a building (yet another reason why it scares the bejesus out of us).
[680News]

Eva’s Phoenix, a Toronto youth shelter, may be forced to relocate after the city indicated it is looking to sell the property.
[Globe and Mail]

Toronto’s Hardship Fund is on the chopping block after council voted 23-22 last month to consider axing the fund as part of an effort to reduce next year’s budget.
[Toronto Star]

At least one Canadian city is taking firm action against the Occupy movement: London, ON. Police swept into the local Occupy encampment and removed protesters’ tents on early Wednesday morning.
[CBC]

Trending in Theatre: Love Lies Bleeding, Seussical, The Provok’d Wife, The Rez Sisters, Macbeth

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Love Lies Bleeding

This ballet is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a production inspired by and featuring the music of Sir Elton John (and Bernie Taupin). Think colourful costumes, tall hats, sunglasses, plenty of pizzazz and men in tight clothes. It’s also an examination on superstardom.
Sony Centre For the Performing Arts, 1 Front Street East, 1-855-872-7669. Nov. 8 – Nov. 12.


Seussical

Based on the books by Doctor Seuss, Horton hears a Who and no one believes him, but we all end up learning lessons and everything looks like we’re on hallucinogens and we all feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Young People’s Theatre, 165 Front Street East, 416-862-2222. Nov. 7 – Dec. 30.


The Provok’d Wife

Nothing like a provok’d wife, am I right, fellas? And imagine if you lived in a society in which divorce was forbidden, even if you were bitterly miserable in your marriage. Such is the case in this English Restoration comedy. Yes, it’s a comedy.
York University, Joseph G. Green Studio, 4700 Keele Street, 416-736-5888. Nov. 8 – Nov. 12.


The Rez Sisters

This 1986 play by Cree playwright Tomson Highway gets a remount at Factory Theatre. Partially inspired by Les Belles-Soeurs, the story features seven women on a reserve who dream of winning The Biggest Bingo in the World.
Factory Theatre, 125 Bathurst Street, 416-504-4473. Nov. 5 – Dec. 11


Macbeth

What can one say about Shakespeare’s beloved tragedy of betrayal, murder, and greed? Well, maybe this: "False face must hide what the false heart doth know."
Hart House Theatre, 7 Hart House Circle, 416-978-8849. Nov. 9 – Nov. 26.

Coming Soon: Full-Blooded Italian, a takeout and delivery pizza joint from the team behind Queen Margherita

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Replicating an authentic Neapolitan pizzeria in Toronto isn’t easy. The focus is always on quality above quantity. It requires a massive, wood-burning oven, imported from Naples, with a highly trained pizzaiolo at the reins. Servers need to be meticulously educated. Which is why John Chetti and his partners, the owners of Queen Margherita Pizza, aren’t quite prepared to expand that brand just yet. What they are ready for is an attempt to change the face of delivery pizza in Toronto.

As the Globe reports, the team behind Queen Margherita is opening a new project, Full-Blooded Italian Pizza (F.B.I), set to open by early December. November, Chetti says, is a bad month to open anything: it’s the month of the dead, according to Italian tradition. Situated in Etobicoke, at Lakeshore and Burlington, F.B.I will serve a different take on the Neapolitan pizza.

Instead of a wood-burning oven, F.B.I will use a Pizza Master electric oven. It’s one of the few electric ovens that can sustain a temperature of 900 degrees Fahrenheit — around the same temperature at which Neapolitan pizzerias flash-bake their pizzas — but F.B.I pizzas will be cooked for longer, at a lower temperature, than a Queen Margherita pizza. It will also be thicker to hold up to the rigours of delivery.

Toppings and other ingredients, including the dough, will be familiar to Queen Margherita patrons. Many of the ingredients will be D.O.P., like the San Marzano tomato sauce and the prosciutto de parma. Fresh fior de latte mozzarella will sit atop the dough.

Chetti makes no bones about the fact that this is a slightly toned-down version of Neapolitan pizza, geared for high volume. The concept, he says, lends itself to a chain. He’s not thinking that far ahead just yet, though.

The restaurant’s space will house about 30-40 seats, and it will also serve porchetta ($8.00) and other sandwiches. But the focus is on takeout and delivery pizza ($9.95-$13.95, plus toppings), using fresh, high-quality ingredients. Naturally, Chetti expects it to be the best in town.

“The best takeout in the city right now is probably Pizza Nova, followed by Pizzaiolo,” he says. “We think that we can be the new face of takeout pizza.”

Full-Blooded Italian Pizza, 2336 Lake Shore Blvd. W, 416-251-0101

Embrace your inner little girl: new shop brings fairy tale charm to the Junction

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After papered-over windows and a cheery turquoise paint job piqued the curiosity of many a Junction resident, The Beau & Bauble finally opened this past week. With her own experiences in girldom still fresh in her mind, owner Kate Elia’s shop is aimed towards those like her younger self, offering up romantic and fantastical items that run the gamut from classic novels to tiny skull beads.

“Girls need places to go to keep their imaginations alive — I wanted to have a shop that’s quite magical,” Elia says. The store’s location in the Junction is part of its charm; Elia wished for it to be slightly out of the way, in an up-and-coming area filled with potential. 

Pinpointing favourite items is somewhat difficult, since we fell for almost everything. Elia clearly has a fondness for the slightly macabre, with plenty of skeletal items dotted about. We discovered a hanging blue tin skeleton ($15.99), soft skeletons with movable limbs ($9.99), skull and bone beads ($1.50), cards with skeletons ($5.50) and Day of the Dead embroidered skull ornaments ($11.99).

Those who do not possess the same fervour for bony objects may enjoy fanciful cards featuring cats with hats from local artist Nikki Robb ($4.99); a fair trade stuffed frog handmade by women in Kenya ($47.99); or a bottle begging to be filled with some love potion ($4.99). The iPad cases made from recycled Vietnamese rice bags ($12.99) are wonderful and are hard to come by in Toronto (we last spotted them in Cambodia).

Other rarities include the milagros (Spanish for miracle), which are symbolic prayer symbols from Mexico; Elia has stocked up on heart-shaped ones, perfect for making sure your (almost) 13-year-old crush will come true ($4.99-$10.50).

The Beau & Bauble, 3092 Dundas St. W., 416.904.6136

The Breakfast Hub: unions prepare for prolonged strike, separating the zoo’s “gay” penguins, Toronto’s secret artifact warehouse

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The city and two of its largest unions, Local 79 and Local 416, are preparing for a labour shutdown of up to six months if they cannot reach new contract agreements.
[Globe and Mail]

The Toronto Zoo will be splitting up a pair of potentially homosexual penguins in order to try to preserve the species. The zoo says it cannot afford to let a season go by without passing on the pair’s genes.
[National Post]

Tucked away in two secret warehouses in the city are hundreds of artifacts reflecting on 11,000-plus years of history in the Toronto area.
[CBC]

A newly restored WWI memorial statue at Malvern Collegiate has been vandalized. The suspects were apparently caught on camera.
[Toronto Star]

Astronomers, grab those telescopes! Tonight in the early evening, an asteroid will be pass closer to the earth than the moon.
[Toronto Sun]

If repelling men is wrong, you don’t want to be right. Especially at Holt Renfrew tomorrow

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Take a moment to look over your outfit today. Does it involve harem pants? What about boyfriend jeans or overalls? How about clogs or jewellery that resembles violent weaponry? If you answered yes to any of these things (we certainly did) than you have subjected yourself to “man repelling.”

Not sure what we mean? As man repelling queen Leandra Medine (of the blog The Man Repeller) puts it, a man repeller is “someone who outfits themselves in a sartorially offensive way that will result in repelling members of the opposite sex.” Now there’s a basic and upfront explanation as to why our girlfriends love us in sparkly Miu Miu shoes and polka dot palazzo pants, while straight dudes think we’re insane.

To celebrate the launch of Holt Renfrew’s new blog, Holts Muse, Medine will be appearing at Holts’ Bloor Street location tomorrow afternoon. Don’t miss the chance to snap a picture with the ultimate man repeller and get some tips on how to up your man reppeller quotient (read: how to be super stylish).

Holt Renfrew, 50 Bloor St. W., Nov. 8, 1 p.m. — 2:30 p.m.

Finally, a video game that’s equally as boring as real life

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Looking for something to ease the transition from the weekend to the daily grind this Monday? Then this video game by Patrick T. Lo is probably not for you. Unless, that is, you’ve been longing for a video game that recreates the daily grind, TTC trips included.

We’re pretty sure the point of Ride The Better Way is to get a car, and then maybe even a girlfriend, but we didn’t play it long enough to find out (we are at work, after all). Still, it’s an amusing way to burn a couple of minutes, especially if you’ve got a hankering for staring at people on the subway. Plus, it’s a nice throwback to the days of 8-bit video games.

Play it for free here.

The Breakfast Hub: getting creative with car-free zones, the Virgin Mobile Mod Club, Don Cherry declines his honorary doctorate

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Car-free zones are starting to get some attention in Toronto as the city looks at creative ways of implementing them.
[Toronto Star]

The Mod Club, a mainstay in Toronto’s music scene, has partnered with mobile service provider Virgin Mobile. Not much will change, but the name is already a few syllables longer.
[The Grid]

Don Cherry has decided to decline his honorary doctorate from the Royal Military College. And for once, he’s is not going to say another word about the topic.
[Toronto Sun]

A poppy box thief suspect has turned himself in to police.
[CTV]

A new report says that Canada is “moving in the right direction on [greenhouse gas] policy.”
[CBC]

Five Reasons to check out the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair (yes, mutant pumpkins are involved)

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This month, the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair celebrates a whopping 89 years of family friendly, farm-oriented fun. Here are five reasons why a visit to the Royal Fair is a worthwhile endeavour for rural folk and city slickers alike.

1. Hang out with the horsey set. In addition to all the fine activities of the agricultural fair itself, there is also The Royal Horse Show (separate ticket required), which happens to be the largest indoor horse show in North America. The show has a full competitive slate with matinee and evening events throughout the weekend. It's a major happening and a great excuse to reuse that cowboy costume from Halloween.

2. Gain some locavore clout. Call yourself a locavore? Now is the time to take it to the next level and really get to know where your food comes from. The fair features more than 4,000 exhibitors and the vast majority are local farmers. Beyond food, the Ontario Craft Brewers are back with the Royal Brew House, a craft beer garden featuring local Ontario craft beer, and there is the fair's annual wine competition, featuring Ontario wine. Dude, it is a local-palooza up in here.

3. Mmm. Butter. There is art. There is food. Then there is butter sculpting. In a mind-melting display of entertainment genius, the Royal Fair has hosted a butter-sculpting competition for decades and it has always been a crowd favourite. What's not to love? Taking a 25-kg block of delicious butter and crafting a scary dinosaur chasing a person is just too cool. And then there is the pop culture factor: Jennifer Garner's new film about a competitive butter carver, Butter, got its premiere at this year's Toronto International Film Festival. It’s like the cosmos are calling out for more butter. Check out the sculpture displays in Hall C; judging will take place on Thursday, Nov. 10.

4. Former Leafs trade pucks for horse hockey. Have you heard of Dave Offen or Cliff Sifton? No? Neither have we, but we have heard of Darcy Tucker, Curtis Joseph, Darryl Sittler and Mark Napier. The former NHL stars will be joining the aforementioned Offen and Sifton (world-famous professional polo players, just so you know) for a game of horse hockey. No word yet on whether Tucker plans on dropping the gloves and going toe to toe with a horse. But anything is possible. Game on at 2:50 p.m., Nov. 5.

5. Mutant vegetables. Who doesn't love a thousand-pound pumpkin? Plunk your kid on top and take funny photos destined for Facebook. Make jokes about carving it or catching a raccoon dragging that colossal thing down the street. Horse hockey is great, but nothing can bring a smile to your face faster than a deformed freak of agriculture. Last year, there was a 51.6 pound beet that set a Guinness World Record. The giant vegetable judging takes place on Saturday, Nov. 5, 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Royal Agricultural Winter Fair, Nov. 4-13, Exhibition Place