Susur Lee's blog: Fresh off the boat

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It’s definitely getting chilly outside. But it’s a delicious season for seafood lovers because this is when the best shellfish in the country is available. And it’s fresh off the boat.

At Madeline’s, we’ll be bringing in fresh lobster, crab, mussels and oysters from P.E.I. and Nova Scotia, and shellfish from the West Coast, all through November.

While I was thinking about new seafood recipes, I realized that it’s been two years since I last presented my reverse tasting menu. I figured, why not combine the two?

So, for Torontonians who are craving Canadian lobster, oysters and mussels, I’ve created my True Patriot Love for Seafood Menu.

Madeline’s will be featuring a five-course, slightly more elaborate menu than usual, which will begin with a heavier course and get progressively lighter. One of my mains will be East Coast lobster poached in butter and glazed with brandy, pink peppercorns and tarragon.

I love to poach mussels in a white-wine-and-lemon bouillon, simmered with shallots, bay leaf and garlic. I’ll also be poaching oysters and serving them with spinach, Rockefeller-style, but with a Susur twist!

I do appreciate that some people suffer from seafood allergies, and so an alternative, non-seafood menu will be available. Otherwise, come on down and get a taste of the ocean!

Chef Susur Lee maintains two successful restaurants in downtown Toronto – LEE and MADELINE’S — and now has a restaurant in New York (Shang) and Washington (Zentan).

Wendy Woods' blog: Classics with a twist on Bathurst

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It can be difficult to find beautiful garments that are not only appropriate for a day at the office, but also include modern style details. Trish Ewanika has been designing and making these modern feminine basics for 11 years, and selling her wares from a boutique on College. Currently in a new location on Bathurst, just south of Dupont, Ewanika continues to create classic pieces with a modern twist.

Elegance is the first word that comes to mind while perusing the Ewanika boutique. Luxurious fabrics, neutral palettes, and little pattern will appeal to women who love the simplicity of an outfit that matches and blends perfectly. The most eye-catching piece for me was a gorgeous white silk shirtdress that could easily go from day to evening with the right accessories. There were only six of these dresses made, so like all of the Ewanika designs, you are guaranteed to be one of a few wearing the piece.

If you’re looking for a great suit, be sure to check out the fabulous three-piece suits made at Ewanika. The suits are easy to wear, and cut for the curves of a womanly figure.

I also fell in love with the stunning jewellery designs by Maryam Keyhani that decorate the boutique. The necklaces are architectural, elegant, and unique. If you fall in love with them too, they are a great way to add personality to your basic corporate attire.

Always on the lookout for Toronto’s best boutiques!

Wendy

As a personal style coach with THE REFINERY, Wendy Woods translates the world of fashion into a personal style that makes her clients shine! Through Wendy’s guidance, her clients discover their own REFINED sense of style and a new found confidence in themselves.

From film training to eco farming & magic

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THIS MONTH I had an opportunity to get an update from a community organization called PACT, which stands for participation, acknowledgement, commitment, and transformation.

PACT was launched almost eight years ago, primarily as an organization diverting youth from the criminal justice system. Rather than sending first-time offenders or those convicted of minor offences to detention centres, PACT sits everyone down — offender and victim alike — to discuss what happened, why and what should be done.

PACT also provides coaching, mentoring and a variety of life skills programs. One of their core programs is a cooking school started by Marjorie Agnew, owner of the Main Course on Avenue Road. PACT also offers programs, from film training to magic lessons, all designed to give youth practical skills and a source of creativity.

It didn’t take the people at PACT long to realize that they could make an even bigger impact if they could help prevent youth crime. This year, they partnered with staff from Sir Sandford Fleming High School and established the Urban Food Initiative.

Through this program, youth grow organic produce right in the schoolyard and then distribute it to local food banks. In addition to supplying thousands of pounds of produce, youth are learning about eco-friendly food production and, soon, how to market their work. Deemed a huge success, PACT is looking to roll out the Urban Food Initiative to 12 more schools.

Having positively intervened in the lives of almost 4,000 at-risk youth, PACT is a tremendous organization dedicated to breaking the cycle of youth crime and violence and giving at-risk youth real options for the future. Visit www.pactprogram.ca for details.

Exciting times as new St. Clair ready to shine

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IN WARD 21, we have experienced a long period of infrastructure renewal in the past couple of years. At times, construction has been painful and annoying for residents and trying for business owners. As we come to the end of nearly all of these projects, there is much to be proud of. Much of this infrastructure was almost 100 years old and was in need of renewal.

We have been through three major bridge and underpass reconstruction projects. The bridge over the Beltline trail at Eglinton and Chaplin was rebuilt, with new roadbed, sidewalks and railings. Toronto Hydro upgraded its facilities as part of this project.

The bridge on Bathurst Street over the Cedarvale Ravine was repaired and the road rebuilt. The underpass beneath the CP rail tracks at Dupont and Bathurst Streets has been under construction since winter 2009. The project involves lowering the road surface in order to eliminate the numerous instances in which trucks collided with the top of the underpass. The road will also have new streetcar tracks as well as new sidewalks and railings.

We are nearly to the end of construction on St. Clair! Anyone who has travelled to the areas between Yonge and Christie Streets knows that it has been dramatic. We expect to have streetcars running by the end of 2009.

As the new street emerges, we have seen more and more new businesses open on St. Clair. To celebrate, there will be an Open for Business sidewalk sale on Sept. 26.

We are coming to the end of a once-in-a-generation renewal of our roads, sewers and bridges here in Ward 21.

I am proud of what we have achieved, and I know that residents are pleased to know that the infrastructure they depend upon is well-maintained.

He loves the nightlife: A gossip’s guide

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NATIONAL POST GOSSIP columnist Shinan Govani may well be the hippest guy in the city, but don’t call him a hipster.

“I’ve been called worse, I guess,” he says, “but there’s a stigma associated with it. Hipster has become a dirty word. There’s a sheep connotation with it. But that’s part of living in society, I guess. Being part of a herd.”

Govani certainly makes it his business to know where the herds congregate. “By the very nature of my job, I’m going out every night of the week to parties and events,” he says. “I could stop right now and beat most people’s life records for nights out.”

As a result, Govani is the person to ask about all things cool (or is it hot?) in the city, and he’s agreed to tell us about his ten favourite places and give us a mini-tour of a few. We thought of calling it Shinan’s Guide to Hipsterville, but he balked at the idea. “I wouldn’t say that,” he says. “I might call myself a social arbiter. It’s my job to know where the tribes congregate. And that varies.”

With that, we’re off. Diverse as Govani’s picks may be, they do have one thing in common: they all embody that elusive thing, hipness.

Our first stop is Yorkville’s Amber (119 Yorkville Ave.) Known for it’s seamless fusion style, this exclusive venue is one part club, one part high-end eatery and one part patio. It features everything from tasting menus to bottle service to DJ-spun dance beats. The clientele is typical of the Yorkville scene, and Amber is frequented both by the monied and the beautiful. And, of course, by celebrities who are both. Having a lot of ground to cover, we don’t linger. Besides, being with Govani means constant stops to chat, which takes time.

“Being in Yorkville is like being in the eye of the storm,” he explains as he is recognized again and again and frequently stops to chat and plug his new book — Bold Face Names — part novel, part roman à clef, just released by HarperCollins. It’s a text that just happens to mention a number of the places included on our tour, though not always by name.

Amber, for example, “is not called Amber in the book,” he says. In many instances, names have been veiled or changed. (Perhaps to protect the innocent.)

When your business is gossip, that’s to be expected, and part of the fun in reading the book is figuring out the who’s who.

We escape the storm that is Yorkville and pop southwest to the second stop on our mini-tour: Trattoria Giancarlo in Little Italy (41 Clinton St.).

“It’s been around for a while, but it’s just had a bit of a makeover, and they’ve added a bar,” explains Govani as we walk in. Initially, the joint appears quiet, but Govani is soon recognized and welcomed by the bartender, Nathan, just one member of the family working for this family-run business. Nathan shows us that the underpopulated bar is misleading. Just inside, Giancarlo’s dining room is bustling, and the side patio is packed. Diners on this Tuesday evening include couple Joe Mimran and Kim Newport-Mimran (of Joe Fresh and Pink Tartan); Heather Reisman, CEO of Indigo Books; and even Hollywood star Harry Connick Jr., in town for TIFF and dining in one of Giancarlo’s private rooms. “For a lot of celebrities and CEO types, when they come to Little Italy, this is where they come,” Govani explains. It’s clearly not a see and be seen sort of place so much as an authentic A-list haunt. Govani attributes the restaurant’s popularity to a great atmosphere and quality Italian cuisine. As we leave (after a long bit of mingling, meeting and greeting), he seems pleased. “Everybody was here tonight,” he says. “I knew everybody at every table.”

Our third stop on the hipster mini-tour is further west still, at Union (72 Ossington Ave.) It’s a chic, industrial-country bar/restaurant with a Parisian flavour, and though it’s only newly opened, like the up- and-coming street it’s located on, it’s already generating a lot of buzz. Again, the place is packed, and Govani knows the handsome bartender.

“Union has an open kitchen, plus a good-looking chef. It’s a great combination,” says Govani. Indeed, a peek toward the kitchen does reveal striking chef Teo Paul, known for previously working under Michael Stadtländer and developing his skills abroad. Indeed, Govani says Union is an homage to a restaurant in Paris, which explains a lot about its atmosphere.

“I don’t really like big places,” Govani explains. He says he prefers cozy hangouts and places with a bistro flavour. “I like a bar, and I like to eat at the bar,” he says. “The service is usually faster, too.”

We linger at Union while Govani chats with people he knows and people he doesn’t and is equally charming to all. He seems authentically interested in everything, so I can’t help but inquire about how he manages to separate the truly cool from mere imitators. He says the criteria is simple.

“People who are self-possessed and self-aware are usually cool,” he says. “People who have relationships and friendships that cross generations are cool. People who don’t stick to one tribe. People who are both interested and interesting. They’re cool.”

In other words, people like Govani himself.

Best sous-chef in town?

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HEAD CHEF DOMINIC Amaral left Susur Lee’s Madeline’s this summer after nine years, opting for a change of scene from Asian fusion to authentic Italian as sous-chef at Zucca Trattoria (2150 Yonge St.) under chef and co-owner Andrew Milne-Allan.

Zucca’s managing partner, Blair Aspinall, says he’s thrilled with this latest addition to the kitchen, having first met Amaral when he was a sommelier at Susur several years ago.

“Andrew has spent the past 14 years guiding this restaurant, and he is really devoted to regional Italian cuisine based on seasonal and local produce,” says Aspinall. “He’s a great leader, and then having Dominic come in here and bring his organization and enthusiasm makes him a great asset to the team. He’s great in the kitchen, a great guy, and we love having him here."

West Coast eatery hits the big smoke

Popular, B.C.- based casual dining chain Joey Restaurants opened their first Toronto outlet last month at Shops at Don Mills. Joey Don Mills features a globally inspired menu, designed by executive chef Chris Mills, with menu items including signature dishes ahi tuna taco, lobster grilled cheese and panang prawn curry bowl.

“Joey Don Mills is where west and east finally collide,” says Jeff Fuller, president and CEO of Joey Restaurant Group, “offering Toronto’s discerning crowd the hippest new hot spot in town.”

Joey Don Mills is located at 15 O’Neil Rd., 416-445-6391.

Yorkville institution closes up shop

Last month Yorkville’s legendary Four Seasons’ restaurant Truffles closed its doors after almost four decades of service, reflecting once again the challenge of maintaining an upscale eatery within the current trend toward casual dining.

Once the go-to spot to sample the fare of celeb chefs such as Tawfik Shehata, Rodney Bowers and Patrick Lin, management said the customer base at Truffles had dwindled over the past several years as the demand for high-end service ebbed, and the current economic downturn was the final nail in the luxury resto’s coffin.

Word is the new Four Seasons hotel, now under construction at Bay and Scollard Streets, will have only one large dining room with a more casual atmosphere.

Forest Hillers hit stores with hot, new cookbook

“We are not celebrity chefs,” says Lisa Gnat.

“We are perfectionist June Cleavers, two sisters who share a love of food, family and fun…. Bite Me is a celebration of all those things.”

Bite Me was something of a labour of love for the authors, sisters and Forest Hill residents Julie Albert and Lisa Gnat. After they failed to find a publisher, they decided to go the self-publishing route.

The book, priced at $29.95 and clocking in at 272 pages, with design from the fine folks at Bruce Mau Design, is now available in Chapters and Indigo stores nationwide, and a website is in the works.

“Their [the publishers] concern in the age of celebrity chefs was that we didn’t have the profile,” says Albert. “They told us to go build our profile and then come back.

“We sulked for a weekend, but it has really been a blessing in disguise. In the end, we wouldn’t have to adhere to any cookbook rules, and we could create a book we loved and believed in.”

The book, which covers everyday meals designed for busy families that don’t want to shop at a dozen different stores to find obscure ingredients, is filled with jokes, pop culture references and a playfulness not normally associated with the genre.

French chef awarded prestigious title

Toronto’s Didier Leroy, owner and chef of Didier at Yonge and St. Clair, was awarded the title of Maitre Cuisinier de France, recently. Bestowed by an association in France, Leroy says that there are just 330 chefs with the title.

Leroy came to Toronto in 1988 plying his trade in Michelin-starred restaurants in France. After working in a number of fine restaurants around town, including the Fifth, he opened Didier five years ago. Despite a rough year, he says he “can’t complain.” The award follows the Medal of the Chevalier de l’Ordre du Mérite Agricole Leroy received three years ago, one of the highest honours of the French government.

“It was most special because cooks decide this,” says Leroy. “It is about what you achieve outside of France and that you represent where you come from and where your roots are.”

Didier is located at 1496 Yonge St., 416-925-8588.

Scuttlebutt

Late last month, it was announced that Jamie Kennedy Wine Bar was sold to Ted and Mary Koutsogiannopoulos (Ted is the former owner of Joy Bistro in Leslieville) along with new co-owners Scott Vivian, chef at the Gardiner location and Rachelle Cadwell, pastry chef of the Gilead Café.

The new ownership group takes over this month when the restaurant changes its name to just The Wine Bar. Hank’s, the café next door, is also included in the deal.

In other JK news, you could spend a week in Tuscany with the chef during the Petraia Sessions, a culinary adventure (www.lapetraia.com).

Uptown French-inspired eatery Lakes Restaurant (1112 Yonge St.) served its last martini to the well-heeled Rosedale crowd this summer, ending a two-decade run as a neighbourhood hot spot. Another victim of changing tastes.

Local resident Ryan Grossman may have tapped into something big. He is the man behind a plan to bring a century-old Swiss chocolate to Canada just in time for the holidays. Beschle Chocolatier Suisse will debut at Yorkdale Mall this month. Beschle was founded in 1898 in Basel, Switzerland, and includes a collection of truffles, bars and some out-of-this-world hot chocolate.

The kid comes first

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UNTIL I SPENT an hour chatting with her, I had no idea Liza Fromer and I had so much in common.

Aside from our similar broadcasting backgrounds, we’re both exhausted mothers who believe balance is a myth. Now seven months pregnant with her second child (it’s a girl), Fromer shares her life with me while waiting for some test results at her doctor’s office.

The former Breakfast Television host shocked everyone when she left that gig in 2006 — around the time she announced her first pregnancy. Viewers were devastated. She’d had an offer from Slice to host a new show.

Fromer took a nine-month maternity leave and then dove into production for The List, a series that granted people wishes then filmed them living out their dreams.

She explains, "My hope was that this new job would give me more time at home, which was not the case … I’ve given up on the idea that balance is possible."

Fromer feels the do-it-all movement does a disservice to moms, particularly when promising that being a busy superwoman will make one happy. "You can’t do it all, " she says, "but you can do your best."

After two seasons of her show, Fromer was exhausted. When the show wasn’t renewed, she breathed a sigh of relief.

As a consummate professional, Fromer tried applying her all- controlling work ethic to raising her son. I did the same with mine. Both of us failed miserably. I chuckle in agreement as she tells me, “I used to be this person in charge of her career and her time. Then this small person shows up and totally takes control. I had to learn to let go of controlling the universe for a while.”

Although she’s read “all the books” on parenting, most of what she learned about motherhood was experiential. With a new baby on the way, she’s looking forward to adjusting her parenting style.

“This time, when my daughter is born, I’m really going to enjoy the baby stuff. I rushed through it the first time. I wasn’t living in the moment. I was waiting for him to crawl, walk and talk.”

As for her career, Fromer doesn’t feel she has the kind of time she did pre-kids to dedicate to it. “As I turn 40, the way I choose to spend my time is important to me. Today, I want to do things that are fulfilling and that matter.”

For examply, she recently chose to visit Tanzania with Mike Holmes, to co-host a fundraising video for SOS Children’s Villages, a charity that helps orphans and abandoned kids.

I also had the opportunity to experience life in Africa first- hand and related to Fromer’s gut reaction to the situation. “I thought I’d be professional and deal with my emotions,” she says. “Instead I found myself running out of a near empty hut that these parentless families live in and had to cry for 20 minutes. All I could think of is this should not be happening to children.”

Despite her career rethink, Fromer is keeping busy. She just signed a deal with Tundra Books to publish a series, co-written with her doctor sister-in-law, to help answer the myriad medical questions kids have about their bodies.

The first will be published in spring 2011.

Post City Magazines’ parenting columnist, Erica Ehm is the voice of yummy mummies with her playful website yummymummyclub.ca. After all, mommies need to play, too.

Upcycling — everything old is new again

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EVERYTHING OLD IS new again this autumn as environmentalism and good, old-fashioned thriftiness continue to thrive, shifting decorating ideas out of the boutiques and into antique stores full of amazing retro furniture, refurbished finds and fixer-uppers for the DIY crowd. The latest trend is “upcycling.”

Coined by William McDonough and Michael Braungart, authors of Cradle to Cradle: Remaking the Way We Make Things, upcycling involves taking something discarded or “downcycled” and turning it into something useful and of greater value. Like recycling on steroids.

Now, everyone can’t troll the streets on garbage night for raw materials, but there are stores and designers that offer the next best thing by converting found materials into cool, design items. Have no fear, we’ve got you covered with some of the best- kept secrets for where to buy used and discover amazing pieces that won’t break the bank.

THESE GUYS ARE SALVAGES!

Urban Tree Salvage’s (19a Malley Rd., 647-438-7516) modus operandi since they opened in January 2005 is turning reclaimed timber into functional works of art oozing local history.

Owners Melissa Neist and Sean Gorham get the materials from a variety of locales, including old barns, an old pier on Lake Ontario, even old materials used to construct subway tunnels in the city and trees that have been taken down as a result of storm damage or insect infestation. Once salvaged, they create interesting pieces of furniture, from vanities and side tables to beds and benches, as well as smaller items such as platters, chopping blocks and candle holders.

EXTRAORDINARY ANTIQUES

Located in the Junction, one of Toronto’s hippest up-’hoods, Smash (2880 Dundas St. W.) offers 4,500 square feet of incredible salvaged items such as vintage kitchen and bath fixtures along with art, old-school maps and statues.

Here you might find a Victorian dining table fit for a queen or a ’50s sink and cabinet just like Grandma used to have. Cabbagetown’s Eclectisaurus is another great place to spend an afternoon of bargain hunting. Boasting a collection “from the ridiculous to the sublime,” here you can find a sleek teak dinette set from Sweden nestled next to a Victorian steamer trunk and Art Deco martini glasses perfect for a retro cocktail party.

REFURBISHED GEMS

Forever Interiors (2903 Dundas St. W.) specializes in imaginative recycling and custom furniture made from reclaimed wood. Here you can find benches fashioned out of old doors and slabs of beam and old mirrors mounted on hundred-year-old floorboards along with a carefully curated selection of traditional antiques like ornate chandeliers, wooden candle holders and even church pews.

CHEAP THRILLS

Popular consignment showroom Of Things Past (185 Bridgeland Ave.) has 22,000 square feet of both low- and high- end finds. You might just bring home anything from bamboo screens and marble end tables to priced-to-sell walnut cabinets.

The Elegant Garage Sale (1588 Bayview Ave.) is another popular spot to dig for steals and deals. Because of its constantly changing selection, it’s best to come in with an open mind. Be sure to explore the downstairs showroom where some of the best stuff is often overlooked.

Cool new fireplaces to heat up your fall

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ALTHOUGH THERE WILL always be something cozy and rustic about curling up next to a wood-burning fireplace, many designers are turning to modern alternatives such as gas, electric and ethanol models, all offering the same appeal without the hassle and mess.

Functioning both as a piece of art and furniture, adding to the decor of a room, contemporary fireplaces are often chosen for their aesthetic appeal rather than their ability to produce heat. While fireplaces have traditionally been installed in spaces such as the great room or library, homeowners are now opting for multiple units, placing them in the master bedroom, en-suite bathroom, kitchen and even outdoors on the veranda.

“Depending on the square footage, a house in Toronto may easily have five to 10 fireplaces throughout,” explains David Kim, managing director of the Fireplace Shop.

Because there are so many choices, when it comes to installing custom as well as manufactured fireplaces, homeowners must consider the aesthetic of the room and the purpose the fireplace will serve.

“The fireplace creates a focal point that can define the style of a space,” says Wendy Carmichael, owner of Interior Concepts Design Consultants Inc.

When it comes to gas, there are options to suit every lifestyle and preference.

For those traditionalists with a hefty budget, a gas insert can be installed in a custom masonry (brick) fireplace designed to wood-burning standards. The effect is the realism of a traditional fireplace achieved with the flick of a switch.

To complement the clean lines of modern design, homeowners have a number of choices. The linear fireplace establishes a stunning, urban feel that best suits condos and modern homes. A strand of dancing flames can stretch up to 10 or 15 feet in length across a living room or bedroom wall. These long, narrow units are often built into the wall and positioned at eye level, creating a sleek yet elegant effect.

While traditionally gas flames emerged from logs (meant to replicate a wood-burning fireplace), more contemporary choices include river rocks, tumbled glass and even sand.

“Rocks tend to bridge the modern with the rustic, creating an earthy aesthetic that’s quite appealing,” explains Christine Denault, showroom manager of Toronto’s 360 Living.

For a unique, environmentally friendly option, Denault recommends that her clients consider ethanol fireplaces. Fuelless units require no installation and burn real, clean flames for up to four hours. Planika ethanol units are available at 360 Living and come in portable tabletop designs (ideal for condos and smaller spaces) and more elaborate wall- mounted and free-standing units that redefine the traditional fireplace.

Electric fireplaces were once considered less appealing due to their unrealistic appearance, but this is changing as technology and design improves dramatically. In bedrooms, electric fireplaces are often mounted in themiddle of the wall so that they can be enjoyed from the comfort of bed. And, unlike gas or wood burning fireplaces, electric units can “burn” for aesthetic purposes without creating any heat.

“In the summer and fall, I might still have my air conditioning on, but will be able to enjoy the ambience created by the flames in my fireplace,” explains Sandra McNash manager of Downtown Fireplace. This year, Downtown Fireplace launched a rainbow line of custom fireplaces available in bold reds and yellows and contemporary colours like Tiffany’s aqua blue.

“These colours really pop off the wall — especially in a clean white space,” she says.

Hooking up in a heartbeat

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A FEW YEARS ago, media outlets were running big features on teen sexual behaviour and the epidemic of oral sex among young teens. Girls who were interviewed all said pretty much the same things: 1) it’s not really sex if you don’t have intercourse, and 2) boys won’t pay attention to you or like you if you refuse.

As mothers, many of us went directly to Defcon 4, which is code for a full-blown parental anxiety attack which only ever has one outcome: Prohibition. Telling teens not to do it.

If prohibition worked, we’d all be happy parents. We’d be able to prevent our kids from doing the scary things that we know are not good for them. Wouldn’t that be great? In your dreams.

Teenagers do exactly what they want. We can be highly effective at getting them to not do the bad stuff in front of us (and indeed at ensuring that they hide that sort of activity). That’s called lying. All teens lie to their parents. When we prohibit any behaviour, we’re only encouraging teens to do more of what comes naturally.

When we prohibit, the teen hears our voice as a tiny murmur against the backdrop of the veritable roar of their peers and the media. We are highly predictable, horribly uncool, and our advice equals, in their view, a first class ticket to social Siberia.

Sexual activity among teens is nothing new, but it is new that teens “hook up” both regularly and casually. Results of a Teen Today study show that teens who engage in early sexual behaviour experience higher levels of stress and depression than their peers who are not sexually active. And when it comes to sex, our voices are not exactly the loudest ones out there. Media messages that appear to promote the glamour of sexuality devoid of relationships are powerful and sell kids a big lie: that it’s cool for young people to be sexually active. Add in the inevitable teen talk, and your kids are in the pressure cooker. For girls, the fear is that boys won’t pay attention to them or like them if they refuse to “hook up.” For boys, there is the false notion that “real men” (which all boys aspire to prove themselves to be) are masters of sexual conquest who never stop wanting it.

If you doubt the power of peer pressure, try this experiment: Ask an 11- or 12-year-old girl what she wants on her pizza, and she’ll reel off her personal list. Ask a 13- year-old girl what she wants on her pizza, and she’ll look at her friends before answering.

Parents who go up against peers run the risk of losing their street cred. And the lower your cred, the less your teen will talk to you. And that is the answer: talk. By which I mean: listen.

If you can keep teens talking to you — about what they’re thinking, feeling, worrying about, scared of, hoping for — that is the best way to inoculate them against making bad choices. It goes like this: Your teen drops a small hint about possible impending sexual activity. Your teen doesn’t hire a small plane to fly over your house with a banner that reads: “I am considering the possibility of becoming sexually active in three weeks and four days.” Info comes out in tidbit form, the merest wisps of information floated past, audible only to the parent who is really listening.

“Active listening” is the term for gently and unobtrusively drawing out teens so that they can go on their own voyage of self- discovery with the parent as the loving but not authoritarian facilitator. I often literally sit on my hands to remind myself to shut up and listen. It’s amazing what teens say when we stop telling them what to do and start listening to them.

Teens who are considering sexual activity are at the threshold of a scary step and
experiencing a maelstrom of conflicting feelings. Your job is to support them to gain awareness of their feelings and help them realize that they control their choices and needn’t simply “go with the flow” or buy into stereotypes and expectations.

Active listening may seem difficult. Ask open-ended questions: How does that feel to you? Is this exciting? Is it scary? How can you think about it and make a decision? What’s the upside? What’s the downside?

Every question you ask is a fishing expedition, designed to get your kid thinking. You won’t catch the big one every time, but if you persist with the active listening approach, over time, your teens will learn to think and talk about feelings that are both pressing and hard to talk about. They will then be more likely to make self-nourishing choices. You are most helpful to them when you teach them to talk about their feelings and these challenging choices. Your teen will talk more and act out less.

And you’ll sleep better at night.

Parenting columnist Joanne Kates is the director of Camp Arowhon in Algonquin Park where she teaches 150 staff to parent effectively and acts as “Mom” to 300 kids at a time, every summer.

Cartoon Queen

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SHE PLAYS THE button accordion. That’s about it for new insights into the world of local comic artist Lynn Johnston. Her life, emotions, hopes and dreams have been the fodder for the genre- bending comic strip For Better or Worse that she has penned for the past 30 years.

“Those of us who do comic art, we really wear our hearts on our sleeves. All my characters encompass my philosophy,” says Johnston, on the phone from her home in North Bay, Ont. “Each character is me, including my dog, even my husband — I made him up for 30 years, too.”

Debuting Sept. 9, 1979, For Better or Worse tells the story of the Patterson family: Mom, Elly; John, the dad; the kids, Michael and Elizabeth (and later, April), as well as Farley, the dog. It is one of the most widely read and successful comic strips in the world, running every day in more than 2,000 newspapers in 20 countries around the world. Johnston won a Reuben Award (the top annual award for cartoonists around the world) in 1985, was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, is a member of the Women Cartoonists Hall of Fame and counts the legendary Charles Schultz, of Peanuts fame, as her mentor.

In a cartoon shocker, last year, Johnston called it quits. Like a real family, her characters had all grown up and started lives of their own. The strip was unique in developing characters in “real time.”

“I really felt that I had to stop while it was still a relatively good story,” says Johnston, who is in town this month as part of the International Festival of Authors at Harbourfront. “It was getting away on me: too many characters, far too serious.”

Johnston spent the last year reworking some of her original series for what she has dubbed “new runs,” but that, too, is coming to a close next spring.

“I’m enjoying it a lot. I am able to wind down slowly, and it wasn’t the shock that it could have been,” Johnston says. “I love working with the kids again and Farley as a young dog. It is more fun and more satisfying to work with.”

Johnston grew up in Collingwood, north of Toronto, and now lives in Sudbury. She was a “comic addict” as a child before she had to give up her collection for Lent, “which was torture.” “Then, of course, Mad Magazine showed up, and my mother thought is was horrible,” says Johnston. “It came in brown paper wrappers, and we read it downstairs with a flashlight.”

Johnston will be part of the International Festival of Authors in town this month. Go to www.readings.org for info.

Great Canuck musical this isn’t

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ORIGINAL MUSICALS ARE not easy to write — from the story to the music and lyrics — and one cannot rattle off the names of very many Canadian ones worthy of memory. There is no reason why this fine country of ours should not be able to produce a Sondheim, Loesser or Rodgers and Hammerstein, but we haven’t. With Mimi, (or A Poisoner’s Comedy), playing at the Tarragon Mainspace until Oct. 25, no one can claim that the great Canadian musical has been written and produced, but there is a lot of talent here and a lot of hope to be taken.

The talent level is high: from Allen Cole’s music and lyrics and the book and lyrics by Melody A. Johnson to Rick Roberts, a standout as an actor, especially in Fire at Canadian Stage a few years ago.

First, the good news: Cole’s music is highly original and creative (recalling Jacques Brel at his best at times), and the lyrics are often hilarious, complex, dirty and memorable. Other good news: In addition, Trish Lindstrom’s title character, Mimi, and Tamara Bernier Evans’ Francoise reach operatic heights, with beautiful, strong voices and good acting throughout. (It must have been one of the smallest “bands” in musical history, with only Daniel Rutzen on piano and Paul Braunstein on drums, the latter when not playing such important roles as Exili and Torceaux and serving in the chorus).

The bad news: the plot of this world premiere production is rather empty and lacks tension and development. The all- Canadian musical is about, of all things, the time of Louis XIV of France and two oversexed, adulterous couples who open the show in bed together.

One of the lovers ends up in the Bastille and discovers the advantages and conveniences of poison. This killer potion is brought back to the eponymous Mimi, who begins poisoning everyone in sight, and that’s about it.

There are fabulous rhymes that keep leaping out from the high-quality songs. I loved the armless and legless beggar, the first victim of Mimi the poisoner, who proudly calls out his name: “Torso” but the hints of Sondheim’s magnificent and ethereal Sweeney Todd in the plot are rarely fulfilled.

The musical drips with irony and meta-fiction, which is fine, but occasional pretty songs and witty lyrics do not a fully satisfying evening make.

The ending, wrapping up the bloody and murderous plot, is a joyous song, whose lyrics (“All good things must come to an end / And so must the bad things, too!”) stayed with me long after I saw the last preview. The director, the most excellent Alisa Palmer, who has radiated her brilliance at the Shaw Festival and on many Toronto stages, did well here. I wish the plot showed as much depth, beauty and humour as the music and lyrics. I am still glad I saw it.

Mimi runs at the Tarragon Theatre until Oct. 25.

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