The week in Toronto in 10 easy clicks: Rob Ford and his Jamaican patois, Drake, Esther the pig and much more

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Our weekly recap of the week’s news nuggets in Toronto will bring you up to date and add some fuel to your small-talk tank heading into the weekend.

1. Rob Ford up to his old tricks

Unless you’ve been living under a rock — or have enough self-discipline to avoid stories you know you’ll hate — you will already know that this was a big week in Rob Ford. After a video was released of the Mayor drunkenly ranting in Jamaican patois, councillors at City Hall have renewed calls for Ford’s resignation. While Ford has chalked the incident up to just another good night out with friends, others have taken it as a sign that he mayor is clearly “off the wagon.” And as all of Toronto knows, there is no telling what Rob Ford will do in one of his Drunken Stupors.

2. But at least the Jamaican is good

While Rob Ford’s drunkenness might have been out of line, linguistic experts in Jamaica say that the mayors use of patois is actually pretty good. A professor in Kingston even described his use of expletives as “appropriate” for the setting. With that in mind, I would still suggest you avoid Googling the term “bomba klaat” on a public computer.

3. Ontario Place Park Plans Revealed

The vaguely creepy 1970s “pleasure park” known as Ontario Place will soon be part of Toronto’s history. This week, Ontarians got their first look at plans for the new park that will be erected on the site, and, so far, people have been pleased. The plan includes bike paths, gardens and tons of green space for families.

4. Esther the wonder pig

A Toronto-area couple and their pet pig Esther took the local media by storm this week preaching the animal rights gospel. It is a classic tale of couple sees cute “mini” pig, gives it a home, only to later learn this little cutie is anything but “mini.” Esther now clocks in at 300 pounds and she’s still not even close to full grown. The story is intriguing as Esther has made quite a home for herself and David Walter and Steve Jenkins wonder why anyone would eat such intelligent animals. Food for thought. Ahem.

5. Drake overlooked

Drake, Canada’s greatest rapper, singer, producer, emoter and treasure, has one again been snubbed by the Grammys. Well… sort of. While the King of Toronto was nominated for five awards in all the rap categories, he was passed over for the three biggest awards of the night — song of the year, artist of the year, and album of the year. And before you say that’s not a tragedy, one album that was nominated for the top award was Taylor Swift’s Red. Clearly they could have made room for Drizzy.

6. Doug Ford worries the Tories

While Doug Ford has made very clear his intention to run for provincial office, not everyone in the Progressive Conservative party is pleased about their star candidate. Doug Ford, as well as possible Right to Work legislation, has some in the party worried that they might be leaning too far right to win any upcoming election.

7. All winning streaks must pass

It was a miracle — after six straight wins the Leafs were riding high. Hope was in Toronto’s heart, words like “the playoffs” came back into our language. But it all ended this week in a 7-1 trouncing by the Dallas Stars. What made it worse? The Dallas stadium made a big show of pointing out that the recently arrested Justin Bieber is a Leafs fan. We are not responsible for that child, Dallas!

8. Kevin O’Leary thinks poverty is “great”

This week, Kevin O’Leary told his CBC co-host, Amanda Lang, that the widening gap between the rich and poor is “great” because it “inspires” people to be part of the 1%, like him, while they try to desperately fight off disease and hunger. Whether he actually believes that is yet to be determined, but in the meantime: Enjoy your attention, Kevin O’Leary. This is really what you wanted, right?

9. Restaurant invites patrons to have sex in the washroom

Mildren’s Temple Kitchen has some interesting plans for Valentine’s day. The Liberty Village restaurant, in an effort to join the ranks of the “101 places to have sex before you die” invites all patrons to have a romp in one of their unisex washrooms. The department of Public health has already given the project the green light saying that as long as it's not near the food, sex in a restaurant is just fine, and not the worst thing that can happen in a washroom either.

10. We all lost on Jeopardy…

And finally, Toronto was the subject of a clue on Jeopardy this week. The quesiton was an intellectual query regarding our city’s rich diversity, cultured landscape and world class — no, I’m just kidding. It was about crack.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Revival Hour: A Robbie Burns Day tribute to our favourite Scottish musicians

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This weekend, Scottish revellers from across the globe will be dusting off their kilts and flocking to local pubs, church basements and golf clubs to address the haggis, spout a few lines of verse and have a good time all in the name of Robbie Burns, Scotland’s cherished poet. But, Scottish contributions to popular culture extend far beyond the dude that wrote “A Red, Red Rose,” not that it isn’t a beautiful poem. And, for no other reason than we can, we’ve decided to dedicate this edition of Rock ‘n’ Roll Revival Hour to our favourite Scottish musicians past and present.

The Jesus and Mary Chain

We love the fuzzed-out, Scottish mope-rockers The Jesus and Mary Chain. The band came onto the scene in the early ’80s, guitars firmly in hand, in direct opposition to the electronic sounds of other U.K. artists tearing up the charts.

The Proclaimers

The Proclaimers have become something of a novelty act, and can be found at a fair or casino near you, but they were a breath of fresh air when they first hit the scene. And, when you write a song that becomes a pub sing-a-long favourite around the world, you must be doing something right.

Mogwai

Proving that there is serious diversity in the Scottish music scene, Mogwai’s post-rock brilliance continues to shine through on their new album Rave Tapes album.

Django Django

No need to stick to the past, bands such as Django Django are keeping Scottish music at great heights. Their self-titled debut was shortlisted for the Mercury Prize losing to Alt-J, and it is an absolutely stunning album.

Eurythmics

Annie Lennox and David Stewart are planning a reunion at this year’s Grammy Awards, and it is a pretty big deal. The Eurythmics were quite the stunning band, and their breakout hit “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” was one of the top songs of the ’80s.

Paulo Nutini and the Vipers

Far removed from the stereotypical Scottish band singing shanty’s while ploughing through pint after pint, Paulo Nutini has established himself as a gifted songwriter and performer.

Belle and Sebastian

Belle and Sebastian continue to produce their own unique brand of musical magic that began back in 1996, and show little signs of slowing down. Their new album, The Third Eye Centre, is no exception.

David Byrne

Sure, we all know the Talking Heads burst onto the New York City music scene at clubs such as CBGBs, but David Byrne is a Scot through and through — just ask anyone in a kilt. One of the true musical visionaries, Byrne’s latest compilation with St. Vincent was his finest effort in years.

Bay City Rollers

Like, we weren’t going to mention these guys. Check out this video and try not to smile. Impossible!

Rock ‘n’ Roll Revival Hour: Kevin Drew, Sam Roberts, PUP, Tony Dekker and Richard Underhill

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Out of my house, roach

The race to crown the next mayor of Toronto got a little musical boost last week as Richard Underhill signed on to challenge Rob Ford. Underhill is one of the finest saxophonists in the country and is best known as a member of funk-jazz outfit Shuffle Demons. No word yet on whether “Get on the bus,” or “Out of My House, Roach” will be the official Underhill campaign slogan. But we’re fond of the latter.

The return of Kevin Drew

Kevin Drew, new album, March 18. Huge news. The album, Darlings, will feature longtime collaborators Charles Spearin and Ohad Benchetrit as well as Dean Stone and Dave Hamelin. It is described as his “first solo album that is truly, to put it bluntly, solo.” Drew is, of course, one of the original members of renowned T.O. hipster musical collective Broken Social Scene.The first single off Drew's sophomore album, released on Arts & Crafts, is “Good Sex.” Check it out below.

Power to the punks

Local next-big-thing punk band PUP will be playing a big homecoming show at The Garrison on Jan. 31. The band is on a tear as of late, signing a deal with American label SIDEONDUMMY Records as well as being awarded two Bucky Awards (CBC Radio 3’s annual listeners’ choice awards ) for Best Live Show and Rookie of the year. The band also announced a massive European and American tour kicking off after their Montreal show on Feb. 1. These guys are going to be huge.

Rink rocker

Rocker Sam Roberts is in town this week to lead a team of NHL alumni onto the ice at Nathan Phillips Square on Jan. 24 as part of the 2014 Scotiabank Baycrest Pro-Am. NHL alums suiting up for the game include Maples Leafs legend Wendel Clark, Todd Warriner, Mike Krushelnyski, Rob Pearson and Gilbert Dionne. Game time is set for 12:15 followed by a public skate with the players. The event is the official kick-off of the ninth annual Scotiabank Baycrest Pro-Am scheduled for May 1-3. Sam Roberts’ new album Lo-Fantasy is set for release on Feb. 11 featuring the first single “We're All In This Together.”

Great Lake Swimmers Dekker talks new album

On the road supporting his excellent solo record Prayer of the Woods, Tony Dekker of Great Lake Swimmers opened up about a new full-band album in the works. As reported on Exclaim.ca, songs for the upcoming album were inspired by a trip with the World Wildlife Fund when Dekker witnessed the result of the BP oil spill. According to Dekker, the new GLS album could be out this year. In the meantime, Dekker plays in support of Prayer of the Woods at the Haliconian Hall in Toronto on Jan. 24.

The week in Toronto in 10 easy clicks: Olympic hockey, York University, Neil Young and more

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Our weekly recap of the week’s news nuggets in Toronto will bring you up to date and add some fuel to your small-talk tank heading into the weekend.

Former GTA hockey stars on Olympic men’s team

Four of the most exciting players on the Canadian men’s Olympic hockey team getting ready to defend their Gold Medal in Sochi, Russia skated for local club teams around the GTA. Steve Stamkos reps the Markham Waxers and the North York Canadies, John Tavares played for the Oakville Rangers and a couple of Mississauga teams, P.K. Subban flies the North York Canadiens flag while Alex Pietrangelo patrolled the blue line for Richmond Hill Stars and Vaughan Kings. As if your kid needed any more motivation to make those 6 a.m. games…

The Great York University Kerfuffle

One of the biggest stories in the city this week has undoubtedly been the great religion vs. gender debate at York University. For those of you living under a rock: Weeks ago, a student asked his professor to be excused from a group project because, he said, he could not meet with women in public for religious reasons. The professor denied the request, and the student relented and worked women like any adult man living in 2014. Why did the issue catch fire this week? Maybe because as universities make greater efforts to accommodate students’ diverse religious requests, the human rights of other groups, particularly women and the LGBT community, are at risk of being marginalized. Or maybe not. Feel free to have a heated debate about it at your upcoming dinner party.

Garth Drabinsky is out of order

Theatre mogul Garth Drabinsky has lost his legal battle to reclaim his membership in Order of Canada this week. Drabinsky was stripped of his membership while he served time in prison after being convicted of fraud and had asked the court to declare the decision of the Order of Canada advisory council unlawful.

Stop me if you’ve heard this before, Toronto, but did you know that Rob Ford enjoys drugs?

This week, the mayor came out in support of the decriminalization of marijuana, admitting to a US sports radio show that it “probably won’t happen up here because we have a Conservative government.” He added that the feds are “very strict when it comes to marijuana and any other drugs” …. but not strict enough to arrest or denounce prominent conservative mayors, he might have added.

Raptors win?

While it may come back to haunt sports fans, The Toronto Raptors are basically out of the Andrew Wiggins sweepstakes. Remember him? Within a span of maybe two weeks tops, the team established themselves as playoff contenders and quite possibly the third best team in the Eastern Conference. Before you get too excited, that’s the same conference that has just four teams of 15 with winning records. Still, the Raptors are on an uptick after coming back to beat the Detroit Pistons this week.

Newborn Carnivore is 2KEWT OMG!!

In happy news, the Toronto Zoo released new images of their newborn polar bear cub this week and he is just the CUTEST. While polar bears are among the most dangerous animals in the world and are known to attack, maul and devour humans unprovoked in the wild, this little guy is an exception because he is little, and chubby and has a pink nose and drinks from a bottle! He’s a furry little angel, Toronto, a furry little angel.

Disaster management

As it turns out, in order for the city to qualify for funding from the provincial and federal government in the wake of last week’s unprecedented ice storm that caused an estimated $100 million in damages, city staff recommended that city council declare Toronto a bona fide disaster area. At press time, we’re unsure how many food cards that works out to…

Airport boss finally speaks up

After days of delays and cancellations and thousands of angry customers stuck in luggage-filled purgatory, Toronto Pearson Airport’s head honcho Howard Eng finally sucked it up and admitted “we dropped the ball” in an interview with CBC’s Metro Morning radio show.

Unemployment rises. Again.

Do you remember the Great Recession? That’s probably because you are still living it. Canada’s unemployment rate rose last month led by the largest drop in full-time work since 2011. Full-time employment declined by 60,000 workers in December, while part-time positions increased by 14,200. The jobless rate in Ontario jumped to 7.9 per cent from 7.2 percent as employment fell by 39,300, according to Statistics Canada.

Neil Young is still grumpy, awesome

The great Canadian musician, who will be kicking off is “honour the treaties” tour in Toronto next week in support of First Nations, played a series of shows at Carnegie Hall in New York last week during which, the New York Times reported that he harshly shut-down an attempt by some in the audience to clap along with the music. Young, a world-renowned performer who has been experimenting with sound, music, rhythm and acoustics for some 40 years, is apparently less than thrilled when audience members blindly clap along to what they think is the beat. “It’s something that you probably don’t know,” he told the audience in New York, “but there’s a hell of a distance between you and me.” So Toronto audiences, hold your clapping, and just listen to the man you came to see.

Theatre review: Scheherazade, part of the Next Stage Theatre Festival

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Next Stage Theatre Festival doesn’t offer 1,001 nights of entertainment, but it does offer a dozen nights featuring 10 different shows, one of which is Scheherazade, playwright Johnnie Walker’s take on the legend of the Persian queen who told stories for "One Thousand and One Nights." One Thousand and One Nights to postpone her royal husband Shahriyar’s intention to behead her. Walker, and his partner at Nobody’s Business Theatre, Director Morgan Norwich, have made this timeless tale decidedly contemporary, with enough sex and violence that it would make great late night TV.

Whereas the Fringe Festival is unjuried (i.e., no quality control), its winter counterpart Next Stage Theatre Festival, now in the seventh year, is a curated festival, that is to say, these 10 shows have been vetted and selected to represent the best work of established and successful Fringe performers. Shows run from 30 to 90 minutes long. There are comedies, dramas, dance, and musicals. Some are remounts and some, such as Scheherazade, are new works. Nobody’s Business Theatre has been creating new comedies since 2005 and, having seen this one, I’ll be keeping my eye out for future works.

Once upon a time, the stories of The 1,001 Nights were called entertainments, and this show certainly is an entertainment. The space at Factory Studio is not big and with a cast of eleven (six women and five men), the stage was almost as packed as the sold-out audience. In Scheherazade, the male characters have power that is inherited, but the women are of strong character. Wiley and self-assured female characters dominate the show.

Nobody’s Business Theatre describes Scheherazade as “part epic fable, part darkly erotic satire." There is strong language, gritty Tarantino-esque violence, and a good dose of bacchanalian lust and booze, but it is not overdone. Just enough in-your-face brandishing of weaponry to make you widen your eyes occasionally, and sex which is abundant, blatant and scintillating but without being crass (depending on your tolerance threshold for debauchery). The set, comprised of a partial wall and a bed, and costumes are fairly simple and the colour scheme is primarily black and white (Brook Alviano, costume designer; Adam Bourret, production designer). The playful soundtrack is cinematic and gunshots will wake you up (Gordon Hyland, sound designer) but there is nothing in this production to make you nod off.

Scene after scene, Director Norwich draws an even balance of energies from the varied and lively cast who are so uniformly talented it would be hard to pick favourites. This sometimes serious “comedy/drama” has more mirth than gravity, and even the most menacing character, King Shahriyar (very funny Steven McCarthy, reminding me alternately of Gene Wilder, Justin Trudeau, and John Holmes) who has murdered each of his thousand brides following the wedding night to keep them from being unfaithful, generates far more laughs than shivers. There are briefly sobering moments in the show but, with the framing story being broken up by numerous short tales, there is no sustained dramatic tension. Nevertheless, the dialogue is clever and sometimes thoughtful, and for the entire 90 minutes, Scheherazade keeps you eager for more.

Next Stage Theatre Festival runs from Jan. 8 to 19 at the Factory Theatre.

Evan Andrew Mackay is a Toronto playwright and humorist who writes about culture and social justice.

Taste Test: GTA’s Most Exclusive Clubs

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Andrew Mannsbach

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The mightly club is a classic sandwich which can be served every which way — from a triple decker to an Italian-style panini. This month, chef Grant van Gameren tells us which club knocks his socks off.

WINNER:
ROSE AND SONS, 176 Dupont St., $16
Chef has a keen eye: “Is this from Rose and Sons?” he questions. “This has so much flavour — it’s absolutely delicious.” The slaw and pickle give it some “nice sourness,” though chef passes on the homemade ketchup (“I’m a purist”). “Traditional isn’t always better. I’ll take this one home!”

CLASSIC CLUB
THE ROSEDALE DINER, 1164 Yonge St., $14
This sandwich tastes more like a classic club, van Gameren observes. Though the chicken is a tad dry, he loves the pile of bacon and finds the tomato and lettuce to be particularly fresh. “It’s pretty tasty.”

VOODOO SPICES
MARLOWE, 155 York Blvd., #1, $12.95
“I do like the charry flavour of the chicken and the panini-press bread style,” chef says. However, it’s still missing an element of freshness — despite being a non-traditional take on the ’wich.

SLICE OF FRANCE
THE RUSHTON, 740 St. Clair Ave. W., $12
Though chef notes that baguettes aren’t usually used in clubs, this one is deemed delicious — though admittedly trickier to eat. Van Gameren loves the avocado component and finds the chicken to be super-moist.

BITE OF THE BOOT
FABBRICA, 49 Karl Frasher Rd., $18 with soup
“I’m digging the prosciutto for sure — it’s clearly an Italian-inspired rendition,” chef says. He’s a big fan of the grilled chicken and the “big tasty tomatoes,” which include those of the yellow variety.

TRIPLE TAKE
THE LAKEVIEW, 1132 Dundas St. W., $12.50
Chef appreciates that it’s a triple decker. “It has this schnitzel-like chicken, which is interesting,” he notes. The amount of bacon pleases, and chef appreciates both the zesty mayo and avocado.

PULLED PERFECTION
SANDOOZLES, 709 Mount Pleasant Rd., $7
“We’ve got some nice spiced chicken here — pretty cool,” notes chef. He is also jazzed about the toasted white bread, though there could be a touch more bacon to balance out the mound of chicken.

REFRESHER COURSE
PICKLE BARREL, 6508 Yonge St., $11.99
“This is one of the more refreshing ones,” chef says. Van Gameren falls hard for the onion bun.

Weekend Warrior: Passport For Change, Drake Night, Boat Show, Sir John A. Trivia, Toronto Monologue Slam & Keith Richards One Woman Show

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Reward yourself for surviving the so-called “polar vortex” by getting out there this weekend and doing something better than complaining. How about learning how to actually follow through on the health-related new years resolutions we know you made? What about Drake? Everybody likes Drake. If you’re in the mood to see a woman chronicle the life of Keith Richards on stage, we can help you make that happen too. The possibilities are endless. (Disclaimer: Weekend Warrior only lists six possibilities.)

Passport For Change

When: Jan. 12, 9:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.
Where: Artscape at Wychwood Barns, 601 Christie St.
Details: Learn how to live up to those lofty new years resolutions. This event uses a six-minute speed dating-style format to get you some face time with some of the GTA’s most prominent health and wellness experts. You weren’t just saying that stuff to impress friends and loved ones were you?

Drake Night – Toronto Raptors vs. Brooklyn Nets

When: Jan. 11, 7:00 p.m.
Where: Air Canada Centre
Details: Is Drake looking to get involved with the Raptors in the same way Jay Z is associated with the Brooklyn Nets? Could be. The Star recently reported that the Raptors’ jerseys could change from the signature red, to black and gold, the same colours as Drake’s OVO (October’s Very Own) camp. It’s still unclear if the team’s “global ambassador” will appear with his tour DJ, Fresh the Prince, who will spin a special half-time set.

Toronto International Boat Show

When: Jan. 11 to 19
Where: Direct Energy Centre
Details: Putting some summer in you winter — as the show’s slogan so poignantly advises — sounds like a fantastic idea after living in a polar vortex this week. Let your mind wander to a sunny spot in cottage country as you get your feet wet in the world’s largest indoor lake, take a free boat ride and discover the pleasures of nautical recreation.

Sir John A. MacDonald Birthday Trivia!

When: Jan. 11, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Where: Duke of York, 39 Prince Arthur Ave.
Details: You were paying attention in Grade 8 history class. Right? Prove it to your friends over drinks and prizes in celebration of our first Prime Minister’s 199th birthday. Bring a team of up to six and knowledge of our nation’s history.

Toronto Monologue Slam

When: Jan. 11, 5:30 p.m.
Where: Rize Studios, 21R Atlantic Ave. Upper Level
Details: The award for best actor may be handed out at a little shin-dig called “The Oscars,” but Toronto’s best actor is apparently decided here. Watch some of the city’s finest (or bravest) thespians fight for the adoration of a panel of distinguished judges as they deliver two round of monologue performance.

The Keith Richards One Woman Show

When: Jan. 11, 8:00 p.m.
Where: FIXT POINT Studio, 1550 Queen St. West
Details: Need some satisfaction? Deanna Jones performs Mona’s ‘trip’ through Keith’s life, from boyhood to RCMP drug-bust. The show features run-ins with Mick Jagger, Anita Pallenberg, Gram Parsons and a giant tongue. A live rock score, played by Kevin Richardson, invokes the world of the Stones and, in particular, the raw sounds of Keith.

Protecting Toronto’s heritage

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The story of our city is often told through our buildings. Design, function and form reveal the trends of an era and the priorities of its citizens, architects and city planners. Preserving this heritage strengthens our community ties, provides a point of interest for our neighbourhoods and improves our property values.

Through my position on the planning and growth management committee, I have requested staff to provide a report on enabling legislation and implementing conditions on demolition building permits for buildings located on institutional sites, such as churches and schools. The City of Toronto protects its housing stock by requiring individuals demolishing homes to submit replacement building plans prior to the issuance of any demolition permit, but no such requirement exists for buildings located on institutional lands.

With the increasing trend by school boards to sell off school lands in the city of Toronto, the city and its residents are vulnerable to the negative impacts associated with demolishing buildings located on these lands. This includes the loss of buildings with heritage and cultural significance and the loss of community spaces and hubs.

With no requirements for building replacement, lands can also remain vacant for an extended period of time once a building is demolished. These vacant and often unmaintained lands bring uncertainty to neighbourhoods and can become eyesores in our community.

Our city buildings provide a legacy of our shared history, and it is the role of Toronto City Council to protect that history.

Top Taste Tests 2013

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Andrew Mannsbach

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1:10 pm

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Over the past year we’ve fed our resident chef, Grant van Gameren, everything from jerk chicken to coconut cream pie. Here, a roundup of the best our city has to offer.

JANUARY: PEKING DUCK
WINNER: PEKING MAN, 1100 Sheppard Ave. E., $36
The most impressive-looking of the bunch, the dish delights chef with its tender texture and “mouth-watering” flavour.

FEBRUARY: SPAGHETTI
WINNER: THE BIG RAGU, 1338 Lansdowne Ave., $16
“This one smells delicious,” van Gameren says. The sauce has a nice acidity and the meatballs are the perfect consistency.

MARCH: CAESAR SALAD
WINNER: THE OCTAGON, 7529 Yonge St., $14.50 (Dinner)
“It’s got a good amount of dressing; the flavour’s there; they make their own croutons; they seem like real bacon bits.”

APRIL: COCONUT CREAM PIE
WINNER: SCARAMOUCHE, 1 benvenuto pl., $13 (slice)
This pie is really rich and sweet without being overly saccharine. The white chocolate clinches this as the winner.

MAY: SAUSAGE
WINNER: BRUNO’S FINE FOODS, 1560 Yonge St., Honey Garlic, $6.99/lb
This pick ticks all chef’s boxes: salt level, quality of seasoning and moisture level.

JUNE: ICE CREAM SANDWICH
WINNER: UNCLE BETTY’S, 2590 Yonge St., $5.50, Sugar Donut & Toasted Marshmallow
Chef is taken by the addition of Skor bits and caramel. “It’s a pretty neat concept.”

JULY: BBQ RIBS
WINNER: AAA BAR, 138 Adelaide St. E., Smoked Dry Rub Ribs, $15
“These are super simple but very well executed,” van Gameren notes. “Someone is serious about their smoker!”

AUGUST: JERK CHICKEN
WINNER: MONA’S ROTI, 4810 Sheppard Ave. E., $7.52
“This is hitting every flavour note that I’d like,” chef says. “You get all those traditional flavours –– this is definitely good jerk!”

SEPTEMBER: DELIVERY PIZZA
WINNER: CLASSICO LOUIE’S, 2549 Yonge St., $13.33
Chef points out the crispy pepperoni, the semolina flour and the thin crust, which folds nicely. “It’s more artisanal,” he observes.

OCTOBER: HOT TURKEY SANDWICH
WINNER: GOOD BITE, 2463 Yonge St., $10.95
Chef likes the mix of white and dark meat and the mushy peas. “It’s bringing back a lot of memories with the flavour profile.”

NOVEMBER: BUTTER TART
WINNER: LEAH’S,621 St. Clair Ave. W., $2.75
“It’s tasty and the flavours are bang on!” chef says. “This is a very rich, sticky butter tart.”

DECEMBER: LATKES
WINNER: DAITER’S FRESH MARKET, 3535 Bathurst St., $1.99
Chef is immediately taken with this latke. It is the most authentic in appearance and there’s an audible crunch when it’s bitten into.

Theatre Review: Impulse Festival

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10:42 am

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Where in the world did that funny idea come from? At the Impulse Festival, Toronto’s first international festival of improvised theatre, the laughs come from just about everywhere! Four days of shows and workshops by world-class improv groups from Australia, Canada, Europe and India opened last night at Soulpepper with a new edition of The Script Tease Project, by the instigators of the Impulse Festival, Soulpepper resident company the National Theatre of the World. And don’t miss, starting Friday at 3 p.m., the world’s longest improvised live soap opera.

Three performances began the festival in the Distillery last night. At Soulpepper’s Michael Young theatre, Toronto’s NTOW was followed by The School of the Night (London, England). Then at the Tank House, a “Mash up” of Crumbs Garage (Winnipeg and Atlanta, Georgia), and Improv Comedy Mumbai (from, wait for it, Mumbai, India). Every day till Sunday, different pairings of troupes will take the stage together for international mash ups.

For the opening act, the awarding winning NTOW—on-and-off-stage duo Naomi Snieckus and Matt Baram, joined by guest Colin Mochrie of Whose Line Is It Anyway?—brought us their latest Script Tease, an improvised play built on the opening two pages of script written for the occasion by a guest playwright, this time by Rick “MacHomer” Miller (currently starring in Canadian Stage’s reprise of Venus in Fur). The actors see the pages for the first time, and perform them in cold-read, only after receiving audience suggestions which they incorporate into the story they spontaneously create beyond the end of the second page. Miller titled his script teaser Crazy Money which had social activist Glen and artsy Shirley enter a TV studio where a guy named Crazy (Mochrie) is manically hosting his show about getting rich. From the moment Soulpepper Artistic Director Albert Shultz had taken the stage to introduce this opening act of the festival, the audience had been jittery with excitement. Add to that a good teaser by Miller and the combined improv prowess of Mochrie, Snieckus and Baram, and you have a play like the world has never seen, and will never see again.

A 55-hour improvised soap opera (they’re going for a world record) begins at 3pm, Friday December 13th at the Young Centre, in 105-minute episodes, with new episodes beginning every two hours. Admission is by donation and all proceeds go to Gilda’s Club Greater Toronto. The Soap-a-thon, being live streamed at soulpepper.ca/webcast.aspx, will feature Dana Andersen of Die-Nasty (Edmonton), and appearances by Colin Mochrie, George Stroumboulopoulos, Sean Cullen, Linda Kash, Nicky Nasrallah, and members of the international improv troupes. (Note: Sunday from 1:00am to 8:45am the Soap-a-thon will be performed at Comedy Bar, 945 Bloor St West, and then continues back at the Young Centre from 9:00am to 10:00pm.)

Meanwhile on other stages in and around the Young Centre, these troupes from around the world are presenting other improv shows as well as offering beginner and advanced workshops in various aspects of theatrical improvisation.

Other participating troupes include Gordon’s Big Bald Head (Edmonton), Combats Absurd (Lyons, France), Die Gorillas (Berlin, Germany), Secret Impro Theatre (Melbourne, Australia), and several supporting musicians. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch my soap.

Soulpepper's Impulse Festival, Dec. 12-15

Evan Andrew Mackay is a Toronto playwright and humorist who writes about culture and social justice.

Table Talk: Joanne Kates reviews The Chase

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lindsaylow

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4:18 pm

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You have to get cold to go to the hottest new restaurant in Toronto — and that may be its undoing. The suits who work in the financial district don’t like going outside. They do like walking to drink and dine. They also like expensive booze, fancy food, a snazzy room and waitstaff eye candy. The Chase has all of that, but for one thing — it’s not on the PATH. You can’t walk there underground. Which was fine in the fall, when it opened, but is no longer fine. If one were to map all the super-successful upmarket restaurants in the financial core, this fact would be clear: No winter coat needed. Suits walk there underground.

If The Chase were, let’s say, as good as Frank’s Kitchen or Acadia, that maybe wouldn’t matter. It’s sure way better looking than either of those, but the suits have pretty highly trained taste buds. The room is divine decadence, a penthouse built on top of a heritage building. You take the elevator to the 5th floor, to a bespoke space lit by grand chandeliers and tall windows. Luxe banquettes and generous tables flank the wine cellar, whose prices befit the expense-account crowd.

Chef is Michael Steh, formerly of Reds Wine Tavern — so he knows what suits eat. I’m just not sure that a $21 app makes sense — it’s lovely sweet poached crab with something creamy under it and fragile gnocchi. But a $21 app? Perhaps I underestimate the depth of Bay Street’s pockets. The other app whose grandeur matches the room is called, simply, avocado (a pretension that permeates the menu). It’s chef’s nod to dragon rolls, avocado draped over a roll of shrimp and smoked onion with grapefruit and shaved celery. I’d have these two items and a drink, and go home.

Because the mains are a) too expensive and b) fussy like a room with too many tchotchkes. Parsnip (yes, that’s its name) is perfect pink roast venison and small motherlode of fab foie gras. But good luck finding it, ’cause there’s a lake of pureed parsnip, parsnips glazed in quince and maybe some quince too (the waiter doesn’t know). For $45. Even more confusing are scallops (slightly burnt) with red quinoa, mediocrely roasted cauliflower, bland tasting pulled ham hocks and lemon almond relish. Too many elements on one plate.

As with the lime dessert, a tower of toasted marshmallow cladding white cake with lime curd and coconut cream. Good idea, needs restraint — halving the size would help.

Restraint is what The Chase needs. Simpler food, tighter focus on what they do well — meat, seafood and eye candy — and lower prices for when the suits wake up and smell the coffee.

THE CHASE, 10 Temperance Street, Toronto

Joanne Kates trained at the Ecole Cordon Bleu de Cuisine in Paris. She has written articles for numerous publications, including the New York Times, Maclean’s and Chatelaine.

Table Talk: Joanne Kates reviews Drake One Fifty

By

lindsaylow

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4:22 pm

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There are people in this world who like their food with the volume turned up. Maybe their marriage sucks. Or they’re on a really boring date. Or they’re out with an old friend out of obligation and there’s nothing left to say. Diners in any of these situations might really enjoy dinner at the Drake Hotel’s new extension of its brand (as they say on their website). Art meets commerce in the financial district, where the new Drake One Fifty is already doing very well, thank you, with 30-somethings 12 deep at the swanky marble bar.

The place is so loud that conversation is impossible. The dining room, which flows seamlessly from the bar, is charming to look at — a tasteful gut job on an old bank building, with high ceilings, clever wood accents garnished with art. Six thousand square feet with a capacity of 180 people is a wild horse to tame; hiring Teddy Corrado, who was chef at the delicious high-end failure C5 at the ROM, was clearly the plan for putting the bums in the chairs after cocktail hour.

But maybe Corrado doesn’t get comfort food.

Because it’s lousy. Not mediocre. Lousy.

Cod vichyssoise is an entertaining idea with blah flavour. So-called charred octopus is cotton-ball texture with no char. It comes with nice beans in light vinaigrette, lightly sweet pickled Peruvian peppers and sunchokes, but no vegetable pleasures mitigate such unfortunate octopus.

They do a good burger, although I would have liked to be asked how I wanted it cooked. And the fries are weird. One assumes that Teddy Corrado would walk on hot coals before he’d use a frozen French fry, but these frites have an unfortunate soft mealy texture. Uh oh.

Lobster pizza comes with the trendy new sidearm — sharp retro scissors. Which help cut it but the taste doesn’t: Cut it. Ordinary tomato sauce and carefully cooked small chunks of lobster do not an exciting night make. As for the crust: Meh. The dining room thins out at 7:30, but the bar is still going strong — because this is the IT place — a bar where you can eat — badly.

DRAKE ONE FIFTY, 150 York Street, 416-363-6150

Joanne Kates trained at the Ecole Cordon Bleu de Cuisine in Paris. She has written articles for numerous publications, including the New York Times, Maclean’s and Chatelaine.